Grief and Then Some...
I know it's been awhile since I wrote, trying to deal with so much. Still dealing with Avery's death. So many people I know are pregnant right now and it's really hard on me. May 10 I'd be holding my precious baby girl. Right now I'm just thinking why God? You know I wanted a little girl more than anything in the world. Ever since I was a little girl myself, I dreamed of the relationship I would have with my little girl. I know it sounds weird, but my Mom and I don't have a relationship unfortunately. I always needed that mother-daughter relationship. It's what I've dreamed of. Now my chance is gone. Avery was our last chance for a baby. My husband doesn't want anymore and honestly I think if I would get pregnant again I would freak out at every little thing thinking I'd lose him/her. Yesterday was a bad day. My mind was wandering through cut scenes of tea parties, frilly dresses, baking...