Perfect Me, Perfect You

  This morning my devotion came out of Isaiah 35:1 "Thirsty deserts will be glad; barren lands will celebrate and blossom with flowers."  Isaiah said that where God withdrew, everything turned to a wasteland and chaos reigned.  Where God took control, the desert became a garden.   God was completely speaking to me through this.  This was His personal message to me today.  I tell you what, I struggled all day long.  Had the biggest panic attack I have had in years and it was just ridiculous.  Just goes to show that we still have to deal with things on a daily basis.  Life is not a one and done type of deal.  I'm on the verge of a huge change and have started making steps, and somebody (I won't mention any names: SATAN) is throwing a tantrum because he knows he can't keep his hold on me.  I wish that I had dealt with it better.  I know what to do when that happens but I kind of let some negative thoughts slip through and...

  Today I have not been feeling well at all.  I've been queasy all day and stomach aches, headaches, sinus pressure, it's been fun.  Of course my imagination gets the best of me today.  I fought fear for a good portion of the day.  I don't think my biggest fear could be any more obvious.  I don't want to die.  Funny that a Christian should say that considering where I'm going after I'm gone.  I don't want to leave my husband and boys, I love them too much.  So anything and everything crossed my mind today of what could be wrong.  Oh the possibilities.  I cooked and laid out a complete buffet for fear to feed on.  Why, why, why???   As I finished my chapter in my Power Thought book, this week was "I will not live in fear", how fitting to end the chapter today.  I think I'm going to redo this chapter this coming week as well, I really need it to sink in.  I did have a pretty big breakthrough about it ...