When You Say Yes

  I really believe God is taking me on a journey to love myself.  I'm here and willing and waiting for His plan to unfold in my life, but I still need some fine tuning.  If we're honest, we are always going to need fine tuning, up until He calls us home.  Anyway, I know I said before that God was convicting me about makeup and I have worn it once since then.  My church had a big event and I was scared to not wear it lol.  Honestly, I get anxious when I'm around people without makeup.  That's a big red flag right there and I understand why God told me not to wear it.

  No woman should ever feel like she has to wear makeup all the time to be beautiful.  I struggled before going to church though.  I'm struggling with acne right now and I feel I look hideous.  I can't look in the mirror without saying something hurtful or negative.  You need to fix this and do that and you really need to just stop eating, etc.  It's so sad how we treat ourselves.  God would never ever ever say any of those things to me.  He thinks I'm beautiful, that is in my head but it hasn't made it to my heart yet.  Also on top of no makeup, my hair is falling out.  I hate showering or even touching my hair at all in case it all just falls off.  I understand I technically had a baby and my hormones are trying to normalize, but my appearance definitely plays a part in my self-worth.

  What I would love to get out of this is to be able to look at myself and love myself.  Tell myself I'm beautiful and believe it.  Not care at all what anyone thinks I look like.  Lets be honest, why do we wear makeup?  It's not usually for ourselves.  It's for others to look at us and think we're beautiful.  Usually we wear it to cover our flaws.  I have acne scars on my chin and still suffer with acne there.  I would love to cover it right now, but I promised God I would do this.

  I said yes to God and for once in my life, I'm actually sticking to what I said.  I'm terrible at doing what I say and sticking with it.  Like diets lol, nope.  God has changed my heart and set me on a different path.  My heart is becoming more obedient and I'm starting to trust Him when He asks me to do something.  I have a big heart for Him, but in order to portray Him the way He needs me to, I need to love myself first.  You hear that saying, "You can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself."  It's completely true!  Until you can love yourself and take care of yourself, you will struggle loving others the way God wants you to.

  I don't regret saying yes to God about this.  It's making me face my fears and look at myself more closely.  It's helping me to not rely on outside sources to make myself feel beautiful.  I can't wait to see how God changes my heart even more this next year.  Next year is going to be even better than this year.  So here's my challenge, if God presents you with a conviction on something, say yes to whatever He wants you to do.  He is giving you the opportunity to change and see a little more through His eyes.  Our ultimate goal is to reflect Him, so take that opportunity and you won't be disappointed!