Finally Peace
Sorry I was MIA for a couple days, I was dealing with bad anxiety. I just got into a rut and felt like I couldn't stop it. Pretty sure I thought I had every disease in existence lol. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I'm so tired of it, but I know that in due time, God will deliver me. I believe it and claim it. Usually every time I have a bad anxiety episode, I have a breakthrough. I did of course which is awesome.
I hate feeling that heaviness in your chest or that your heart is going a million miles an hour. My body added a new one, I started feeling shaky. It's honestly crazy what our bodies can do or make up when we're feeling stressed or anxious. It's quite ridiculous. So because I was feeling this new symptom, my mind was going every which way trying to figure out what was wrong. That's just it, I was trying to figure out what was wrong. I'm not even qualified to do that lol. I'm not a doctor. Sure I googled it but then I got west nile virus, nerve disorders and I would have to be in a wheelchair the rest of my life, google is my enemy! Never google symptoms, ever!!!
In order to feel better, I was reading the Bible and some other books I have, I was singing and praising God, thanking Him for everything I could think of, but still my mind was misbehaving. I felt trapped, paralyzed. Satan had me right where he wanted me. I couldn't do a thing for God because I was so wrapped up in myself and trying to figure out the impossible myself. Then I read this verse last night, "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, "Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13. I burst into tears. How could you not? God was speaking right to me! I felt Him with me last night.
2 Chronicles 20:15,17 "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army for the battle is not yours but God's. You will NOT have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you...." This one is a little cut up but it's what the Bible says. Anywho, after reading this, I just cried out to God. This is His fight not mine, He is telling me to take my position and watch Him deliver me! How awesome is that? He loves me so much that He fought for me and also, He has already won! I have victory over this. I am no longer a slave to worry and fear, anxiety. It's done and over with.
After realizing all this, I was able to sleep. Well guess who woke me up to bother me? Yep, satan. Continuing to tell me lies he knows that I have a hard time not believing. I text my brother and asked him to pray for me, also another close friend too. He text me back and told me to just take a few minutes and sit in God's presence and be still and quiet. I figured this is the only thing I haven't done! So I sat there for 15 minutes. My mind has never been so quiet. When you sit in God's presence, satan can't touch you. I was completely renewed in 15 minutes. I was in awe the peace I felt, I was me again! All I had to do was to be quiet and spend some time with God.
Today has been an awesome day. Something I'm going to start doing daily, I will wake up early and just sit with God for a bit. I realized that I need to be recharged. If I don't get that time with Him, not reading or praying, just silence, then my mind starts getting cluttered and I can't function the way I need to. I can't stop the negative thoughts that I need to. God is many things, and now I have found that He is also my daily renewal. I NEED Him daily, every single day, or I cannot function correctly. I'm just in awe that He reached out to me and helped me. I am far from perfect, but He sees perfection. Not because of my actions, I'm perfect because He made me and I'm His daughter. Don't leave God out, it doesn't end well...
I hate feeling that heaviness in your chest or that your heart is going a million miles an hour. My body added a new one, I started feeling shaky. It's honestly crazy what our bodies can do or make up when we're feeling stressed or anxious. It's quite ridiculous. So because I was feeling this new symptom, my mind was going every which way trying to figure out what was wrong. That's just it, I was trying to figure out what was wrong. I'm not even qualified to do that lol. I'm not a doctor. Sure I googled it but then I got west nile virus, nerve disorders and I would have to be in a wheelchair the rest of my life, google is my enemy! Never google symptoms, ever!!!
In order to feel better, I was reading the Bible and some other books I have, I was singing and praising God, thanking Him for everything I could think of, but still my mind was misbehaving. I felt trapped, paralyzed. Satan had me right where he wanted me. I couldn't do a thing for God because I was so wrapped up in myself and trying to figure out the impossible myself. Then I read this verse last night, "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, "Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13. I burst into tears. How could you not? God was speaking right to me! I felt Him with me last night.
2 Chronicles 20:15,17 "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army for the battle is not yours but God's. You will NOT have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you...." This one is a little cut up but it's what the Bible says. Anywho, after reading this, I just cried out to God. This is His fight not mine, He is telling me to take my position and watch Him deliver me! How awesome is that? He loves me so much that He fought for me and also, He has already won! I have victory over this. I am no longer a slave to worry and fear, anxiety. It's done and over with.
After realizing all this, I was able to sleep. Well guess who woke me up to bother me? Yep, satan. Continuing to tell me lies he knows that I have a hard time not believing. I text my brother and asked him to pray for me, also another close friend too. He text me back and told me to just take a few minutes and sit in God's presence and be still and quiet. I figured this is the only thing I haven't done! So I sat there for 15 minutes. My mind has never been so quiet. When you sit in God's presence, satan can't touch you. I was completely renewed in 15 minutes. I was in awe the peace I felt, I was me again! All I had to do was to be quiet and spend some time with God.
Today has been an awesome day. Something I'm going to start doing daily, I will wake up early and just sit with God for a bit. I realized that I need to be recharged. If I don't get that time with Him, not reading or praying, just silence, then my mind starts getting cluttered and I can't function the way I need to. I can't stop the negative thoughts that I need to. God is many things, and now I have found that He is also my daily renewal. I NEED Him daily, every single day, or I cannot function correctly. I'm just in awe that He reached out to me and helped me. I am far from perfect, but He sees perfection. Not because of my actions, I'm perfect because He made me and I'm His daughter. Don't leave God out, it doesn't end well...
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