Remembering...
I've been thinking a lot lately about where I was a year ago. It was one of the darkest times in my life, especially my marriage. That's a different story for a different day though. I cannot believe how far I have come in one year.
In this past year, I truly accepted Christ in all His glory, I renewed my marriage, I was healed of mental illnesses by God's grace and mercy, I helped my sister through some really tough stuff, I learned that I don't have to walk this road alone. I overcame things from my past that was holding me back. There's just so many things, I'm a brand new person!
I remember when I was going to my counselor and at the end of 2 months she told me that I didn't need her anymore lol. She had given me all the tools I needed to change my life and I was on my way. I'm a quick learner and I just love soaking up information. I hunger for it. If I can be a better person, I'll be the first person raising their hand asking how?! God gave me a thirsty spirit to learn. What's particularly awesome is that I know one day, all this info I'm storing, I get to give back to the next generation. Hopefully God will change lives through me.
I adore Joyce Meyer, she is most definitely my role model. There's a lot in her life story that is similar to mine. I can get something out of anything she says. You could even say that I would love to be her predecessor. I would love for God to use me like that. I don't want to condemn anyone ever, I want to help people through love.
God has taught me so much about love, especially this last year. I would have to say a year ago, I didn't know what love was or how to do it. That deep unconditional love, I couldn't even define it. I'm so blessed that God gave me a man that knew what it was and practiced it daily. Through Mike, God taught me unconditional love. He is the most patient person I've ever been in contact with. When I think about how I am, it all makes sense why he needs so much patience lol.
I didn't grow up with unconditional love. If I was good enough and I did good things, that's when I deserved love. Sometimes it didn't matter what I did, I didn't receive it. There were a good number of nights I would say it before bed, but would crawl into bed with tears in my eyes because I didn't hear it back. I always wondered how bad I was that I didn't deserve love. I hated myself for not being good. I craved love. I strived to be perfect because then, maybe I would be good enough to deserve love...
So growing up I didn't have a good picture of love or God. I was raised on fearing God more than anything. Before this past year, I didn't know God at all, I didn't know how much I meant to Him, or how much He loved me unconditionally. What's so funny is that you let people treat you according to what you think you're worth. I was a complete welcome mat for years. After learning about God and what He thinks of me, I no longer let people use me or treat me badly. I have the confidence in who I am in Christ to stand up for myself.
God knows exactly what you need when you need it. If any of this had happened earlier in my life, I don't think I would've gotten it. It would've went right over my head. I needed to be at a place in my life that I was constantly seeking God every minute of the day. "Seek and you will find..." I was frantically saying all day long, "God I need you! God where are you?? God please I need Your help!" And at the perfect moment, He came down and scooped me up in His hand, He washed me and put all brand new clothes on me, He washed my eyes so I could see. He knew that in that moment, I was ready. I was ready to finally learn what love really is. I was ready for Him to reveal to me what I meant to Him.
One of the first things I learned that changed my life, one of my pastor's was teaching a class during Sunday school for new believers. He asked us what happened to Jesus during those 3 days between his crucifixion and rising on the third day? This may be debatable but I was told that Jesus was in hell where he defeated satan and overcame death. There is a song where it says "Now death where is your sting?' (Forever by Kari Jobe) Jesus took death's sting for us. FOR US!!! He loves us that much that He would go to hell and defeat death for us!!! How utterly amazing is that...
God saved me from myself. When I was in the deepest hole in the dark, He reached down and took my hand showing me there was a better way. Daily He shows me how much He loves me. Sometimes things happen and I ask why, but He always knows what's best for me. Everything He does is good. If there is something bad or evil, that's definitely not God. I encourage you today that if you're feeling like you don't have a way out, like the darkness is closing in, just look up and take His hand. I assure you that He will set you on a path to victory. In one year's time, He has changed my life forever, and for that I'm eternally grateful... I also encourage you to read the book of John in the Bible. I read it over and over. That is a good place to start if you want to know how much you mean to God. I hope you have a blessed night!
In this past year, I truly accepted Christ in all His glory, I renewed my marriage, I was healed of mental illnesses by God's grace and mercy, I helped my sister through some really tough stuff, I learned that I don't have to walk this road alone. I overcame things from my past that was holding me back. There's just so many things, I'm a brand new person!
I remember when I was going to my counselor and at the end of 2 months she told me that I didn't need her anymore lol. She had given me all the tools I needed to change my life and I was on my way. I'm a quick learner and I just love soaking up information. I hunger for it. If I can be a better person, I'll be the first person raising their hand asking how?! God gave me a thirsty spirit to learn. What's particularly awesome is that I know one day, all this info I'm storing, I get to give back to the next generation. Hopefully God will change lives through me.
I adore Joyce Meyer, she is most definitely my role model. There's a lot in her life story that is similar to mine. I can get something out of anything she says. You could even say that I would love to be her predecessor. I would love for God to use me like that. I don't want to condemn anyone ever, I want to help people through love.
God has taught me so much about love, especially this last year. I would have to say a year ago, I didn't know what love was or how to do it. That deep unconditional love, I couldn't even define it. I'm so blessed that God gave me a man that knew what it was and practiced it daily. Through Mike, God taught me unconditional love. He is the most patient person I've ever been in contact with. When I think about how I am, it all makes sense why he needs so much patience lol.
I didn't grow up with unconditional love. If I was good enough and I did good things, that's when I deserved love. Sometimes it didn't matter what I did, I didn't receive it. There were a good number of nights I would say it before bed, but would crawl into bed with tears in my eyes because I didn't hear it back. I always wondered how bad I was that I didn't deserve love. I hated myself for not being good. I craved love. I strived to be perfect because then, maybe I would be good enough to deserve love...
So growing up I didn't have a good picture of love or God. I was raised on fearing God more than anything. Before this past year, I didn't know God at all, I didn't know how much I meant to Him, or how much He loved me unconditionally. What's so funny is that you let people treat you according to what you think you're worth. I was a complete welcome mat for years. After learning about God and what He thinks of me, I no longer let people use me or treat me badly. I have the confidence in who I am in Christ to stand up for myself.
God knows exactly what you need when you need it. If any of this had happened earlier in my life, I don't think I would've gotten it. It would've went right over my head. I needed to be at a place in my life that I was constantly seeking God every minute of the day. "Seek and you will find..." I was frantically saying all day long, "God I need you! God where are you?? God please I need Your help!" And at the perfect moment, He came down and scooped me up in His hand, He washed me and put all brand new clothes on me, He washed my eyes so I could see. He knew that in that moment, I was ready. I was ready to finally learn what love really is. I was ready for Him to reveal to me what I meant to Him.
One of the first things I learned that changed my life, one of my pastor's was teaching a class during Sunday school for new believers. He asked us what happened to Jesus during those 3 days between his crucifixion and rising on the third day? This may be debatable but I was told that Jesus was in hell where he defeated satan and overcame death. There is a song where it says "Now death where is your sting?' (Forever by Kari Jobe) Jesus took death's sting for us. FOR US!!! He loves us that much that He would go to hell and defeat death for us!!! How utterly amazing is that...
God saved me from myself. When I was in the deepest hole in the dark, He reached down and took my hand showing me there was a better way. Daily He shows me how much He loves me. Sometimes things happen and I ask why, but He always knows what's best for me. Everything He does is good. If there is something bad or evil, that's definitely not God. I encourage you today that if you're feeling like you don't have a way out, like the darkness is closing in, just look up and take His hand. I assure you that He will set you on a path to victory. In one year's time, He has changed my life forever, and for that I'm eternally grateful... I also encourage you to read the book of John in the Bible. I read it over and over. That is a good place to start if you want to know how much you mean to God. I hope you have a blessed night!
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