Metamorphosis

  The last few days I was feeling like something great was going to happen.  I was right.  I had a radical breakthrough last night.  Yesterday by the afternoon I was feeling so frustrated.  You know when something is so close you can taste it, but it's still out of reach?  That's what was happening. 

  So I go to church last night.  I love my woman's group.  God knew how much I needed these ladies.  I'm so thankful that He brought them to me.  Last night we talked about how God chose to love us forever.  Lately everything I've been reading and hearing has been leading me to the fact that our sins are of little importance to our present and future.  We are safe in the shadow of the cross.  All sins need to be punished.  When Jesus was on the cross, he took the punishment for what we've done, have done, and will do.  Again, we are safe in the shadow of the cross.  When we do something wrong, of course we need to ask for forgiveness and then turn from that and keep moving on.  It's like water rolling off a duck's back.  Satan is the one who brings us shame and guilt and reminders, not God.

  When you give your life to God and choose to follow Him, He gives us a completely clean slate.  We are new creatures in Him.  We are no longer our old former selves.  Do you know what this means?!  (this is where it all clicked)  This means that your bad habits, your addictions, your chains, your burdens that you have carried, they are NO MORE.  Those are part of your old self.  If you don't understand this then you will live like I have been.  It's kind of like getting your cake and eating it too honestly.  You have God, you have His friendship, you have forgiveness, you think you have all the perks, but you are also living your old life.  I have come far enough in my journey that God revealed to me that I have not been living the new life that He gave me when I chose to follow Him.  I love Him with all my heart, but I was still hanging on to my old self.  Is it fear?  Probably.  Fear of relinquishing control of myself.

  So, when this realization hit me, I let go.  I don't want to keep living my old life.  I want every good thing God has for me.  He has been taking me on a mind renewal journey and this is part of it.  When you choose God, you say no to yourself and your past.  You say no to your bad habits.  You do a complete 180.  You are a brand new creature in Christ.  BRAND NEW.  What does it mean to be brand new?  It means something other than what you've been doing, the unknown.  This is where trusting God comes into play.  Of course we keep our character, but this means that we grow in Him.  When we focus on Him, we learn new behaviors and habits.  We start to act more like Him.  Yes we are going to slip and fall, but you let it roll off  your back.  You get up and keep going.  Don't hang onto it.

  Eph. 5:8 "For once you were in darkness, but now in the Lord you are light.  Live as children of light--for the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true.  Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord."  Here is my next step.  Being new in Christ, I need to learn what pleases God.  The more we obey Him, the more we shrink back from what displeases Him.  I'm tired of doing things I know I shouldn't be doing.  God expects us to grow in Him when we choose to follow Him.  We are expected to obey and submit to Him.  Everybody views the word submission as a horrid thing, let me tell you, with God it's a very good thing and the best thing for you.  I have fallen on my face enough to know this.

  I have spent most of my Christian life trying NOT to sin.  That has gotten me absolutely nowhere.  I have sinned more thinking that than if I didn't think that at all.  Instead, if I just focus on God, I will sin less.  If you go through life focusing on your problems, you're going to create more and more problems for yourself.  You can't think like that.  Being a new creature is a complete metamorphosis, a complete change.  Like a tadpole to a frog.  Looking at a tadpole, you'd never thing the end result would be a frog.  I've been yearning to be completely changed, but I couldn't because I was hanging onto myself.  I had to let go so that I could be new in Christ and change my bad habits to good ones.  I've been working on renewing my mind but I ran into a roadblock.  Fear was my roadblock.  I couldn't get over it.  By letting go of the old me, I now realize the truth about fear.  I have the power from God to overcome it.  God has already defeated it so why live in it?

  I'm so excited about this newfound knowledge.  I already am feeling changed.  I feel progress, I feel that strong connection with God again.  It's the greatest feeling in the world.

"You came for criminals
And every pharisee
You came for hypocrites
Even one like me

You carried sin and shame
The guilt of every man
The weight of all I’ve done
Nailed into your hands

Oh, your love bled for me
Oh, your blood in crimson streams
Oh, your death is hell's defeat
A cross meant to kill is my victory."

-Crowder "My Victory"